Interior Alchemy by Natalie Kirkpatrick

What a Grown-Up Relationship Actually Needs

So many families never evolve past their original 
blueprint.
The parent stays the authority.
The adult child stays the emotional barometer.
Both call it "closeness."

But a grown-up relationship—between any two
adults, including parent and child—
means the power dynamic has to mature.

It looks like this:

- Truth isn't punished with silence.

- Emotional needs aren't pathologized as weakness.

- Curiosity replaces defense.

- Repair matters more than being right.

- Both people regulate themselves instead of managing the other.

When a child becomes an adult, the relationship has to get re-negotiated.
Otherwise, love gets frozen at the level where
one person has authority
and the other had all the responsibility for
harmony.

If an adult child withdraws every time you name
impact,
that's not boundaries—it's regression.
And if a parent chases, pleads, or performs
"fine" to keep access,
that's not grace—it's appeasement.

A grown-up relationship begins the moment
both parties can hold discomfort
without reaching for punishment or
performance.

It's not about who raised who.
It's about who's willing to rise now.

—

Ask yourself: What age is this relationship still operating at?